June 8, 2018

The Do's & Don'ts For a Vow Renewal

I recently renewed my wedding vows, and I have to say it was the best thing ever! Honestly, I am a hopeless romantic, so for me, there's nothing more special then celebrating a marriage milestone with a ceremony like this. When I was getting ready and planning my vow renewal, I read many articles online about the "do's & don't's". Everything from The Knot to different lifestyle bloggers had tons of rules that were said to be the right way to do things when renewing your wedding vows. Truth be told, I didn't agree 100% with any of the articles out there! Why should someone else dictate how I celebrate my love and family bond? So I'm changing the rules or the "Do's & Don'ts". Below are my suggestions, but truly, do what makes you and your spouse happy, it's your day!

Do wear whatever dress you want! The vow renewal articles I found online said do not wear a wedding dress unless it's your original. Why not? I get that you shouldn't spend tons of money on a bridal gown for the second time, but I say wear whatever you want. For me, my dress from my wedding 10 years ago was not my style & was way too big on me. I got a new wedding dress because the price was right and I wanted to. That's it guys, it was my day and that is what I wanted to wear. 

Don't spend a ton of money on the ceremony. When we planned our vow renew in Maui, we had the option to walk out the back of our hotel and renew our vows right on the beach at the Hyatt Regency. That would cost $3000 and didn't include photos, flowers, or anything really. Yes, things are more pricey on Maui, but there has to be a better option for us. So we did our research and for under $700 we were able to find a beautiful beach 20 minutes away to renew our vows on! This price included our wedding planner, transportation, permits, flowers for all four of us, photos, the minister, and all of our keepsakes from the ceremony. Do your research, there is bound to be a more cost effective way to get the ceremony of your dreams, even if you do plan to have your ceremony somewhere expensive. After, we went out to  dinner and ended up dancing to our wedding song on the balcony of our hotel room that night. It was perfection!

Do have a photographer. These photos are almost more special to us then ones from our wedding ten years ago. They are beautiful family photos that capture such a special day for all four of us. We actually made canvases of a few of the prints that now hang in our home! I can't tell you how happy I am to have them. Maybe it was because of the location, maybe it's because they are updated gorgeous family photos...either way, I can't imagine not having them. Make sure you book a photographer or have someone taking photos, you will not be mad for doing this, I promise. ;) 

Don't worry about what others think! Generally speaking, we spend far too much time caring about what others think, don't we? I can't tell you how many times "what other might think" popped into my head. "Will they think my dress is too much? Will people think it's weird we are renewing our vows at ten years? Will our family be offended if we don't invite them and keep it's just the four of us?" So many thoughts and judgments came into my head and then I realized, it doesn't matter! It's a waste of time to worry what others think, it's out of your control so let it go. So, if you need it, I give you permission to do what makes you happy on your day! As soon as I gave myself permission, it was a much smoother planning process. 

Do include your kids. This was such an important part for us. Your first instinct might be to go alone with your husband and really get some one-on-one time, but really think it though. Will you miss anyone? Will you want your entire family there? We opted for a family ceremony as our kids were just as important these past ten years as my hubby and I were for our family growth. It was more like a celebration of everything we have been though as a family during this first decade together, and a kicking off the next chapter. I would literally not have done it any other way! Plus, how darling are they below in their outfits?! So precious!

Don't be a bridezilla. OK, this may seem obvious, but it's not your first wedding! It's no where near the scale of that, so the stress and how you act should reflect that. On your vow renewal day, you do feel like a bride, but there is no need to stress. Maybe that is why I loved this day so much. It was still as special (to me) as our original wedding day, but without all the stress, anxiety, and unknown. So enjoy it, and don't let it get out of had financially or otherwise. 

Do write your own vows. If you are renewing our vows, you've been in your marriage for some time now and I'm sure you have some things to say. It's such a beautiful thing to pour your heart out in these moments. To read my vows to my husband, in-front of my children, and for him to do the same was so emotional and something I will remember always. Many tears were shed and it makes your day that much more personal and special. Speaking from the heart is always a great idea. 

Do bring a copy of your marriage certificate. We had our minister sign it and write Maui on it...kind of like a passport marriage certificate. Now, when we do this again at twenty years (yeah, we are those people), we will have it signed and location stamped again. This was something I thought of last minute and I'm so glad I did. You can frame it or save it in a keep sake box. Either way, it's a nice little touch.

Do take advantage of where you are staying. Are you at a hotel? Have your dresses & suits/tuxes pressed and/or steamed the day before. I called ahead and they were more then happy to help. I can't tell you how much less stress there was knowing I could travel a full day with with all four outfits and have all the wrinkles steamed out before the ceremony.

Do save money on the things you can do yourself. I know how to do my own hair and makeup, so I did just that! I also did my daughter's hair and although we both look a bit wind blown, it was perfect. That alone saved us enough money to go to a nicer dinner that night. Score! 

 In the end, it is me you make it! What are your thoughts on vow renewals? Do you agree or disagree with my do's & don'ts? Thank you so much for stopping by the blog today, I hope you make it a great day! xoxo

1 comment:

101thingsilove/Johanna said...

I loved this post, Lisa. And these photos are just to die for!